Dissidia Duodecim BYOB
by talinsquall
Summary: The whole Cosmos Gang is here to watch Yuna, Zidane, and Bartz rescue a Star. Squall thinks he's all alone. He couldn't be more wrong. Tidus/Yuna/Zidane, Jecht/Kuja, Golbez/Cecil, Cloud of Darkness/Terra, Future Sephiroth/Squall/Zack. Future Cloud/Laguna, Kain/Bartz. OOC, Non-Canon, Homosexuality, Heterosexuality, Hermaphroditism, Incest, Planned Polygamy, Frottage, Tentacles


A/N: There's a lot of foreshadowing for Squall's upcoming story here. Couldn't help myself.

Fandom: Dissidia Duodecim

Summary: The whole Cosmos Gang is here to watch Yuna, Zidane, and Bartz rescue a Star. Squall thinks he's all alone. He couldn't be more wrong.

Pairings: Tidus/Yuna/Zidane, Jecht/Kuja, Golbez/Cecil, Cloud of Darkness/Terra, Future Sephiroth/Squall/Zack. Future Cloud/Laguna, Kain/Bartz

Warnings: OOC, Non-Canon, Homosexuality, Heterosexuality, Hermaphroditism, Incest, Planned Polygamy, Frottage, Tentacles, Swearing, Appearances of other Final Fantasy characters not in Dissidia

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fan fiction. In certain cases incidents, characters and timelines have been changed for dramatic purposes. Certain characters may be composites, or entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

 **Dissidia Duodecim B.Y.O.B.**

XXX

 _Everybody's going to the party have a real good time._

 _Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine._

XXX

The large group of Cosmos's warriors had carefully and quietly made their way through the Lunar Subterrane only to huddle along various cliff-side hiding places to view the upcoming battle.

Cecil straightened up in alarm, sensing incoming Chaos warriors, but then relaxed. "It is merely Golbez and Kuja."

The Graceful Glider gently floated down to caress and comfort a nervous father-in-waiting. "The glorious sorcery of dance and song will surely bring Tidus back to the fold."

In a rare show of his soft side, Jecht embraced the surprised Genome and held him tight. "It better. Damn near killed me the last time we fought. He looked right through me with his mother's eyes. If Yuna hadn't blocked him, I would've let him take me out then-and-there just to not see that again."

While Kuja ran nimble fingers through Jecht's hair, Cecil walked over to his brother and hugged his waist, laying a soft kiss to a vast chest. To his delight, Golbez had changed to his non-armored form of shirt and kilt. "Will thou dance one dance with me, Kind Sir?"

Golbez lightened the air with a silky chuckle. "Flit around me, Oh Beacon of Light. I shall play the role of rooted tree grandly."

XXX

Terra's attempt to hide tears was erased by the loving embrace of two arms and two smiling tentacles. "You came! I'm so happy! Kefka's been watching you like a hawk. I've been so worried."

Cloud of Darkness continued to float a little off the ground as she brushed a soft kiss to the top of Terra's head. "The clown shall end us this cycle. The Void has foretold our fate. Allow us this one night of revelry for we know not when we shall be forced to rest."

Terra whirled around to clasp her partner close. "No! Please, no! If this happens, you'll forget about us. You'll forget about me. And the children… they've come to love you so."

Cloud of Darkness received the embrace with a low purr. The tentacles moved of their own volition up-and-down Terra's shivering body.

The Emissary's gaze sharpened at the sight of a troubled father and his even more frantic son standing a little farther back. "Perhaps we are too hasty with our news. The Void has whispered a new telling to us. The Lion's memories have been returned to him. He has also been informed of his newly remembered father's soon-to-be passing. We believe the solitary warrior will not allow this to stand. Even at this time, he plots."

Terra half-turned to view a stone-eyed Squall holding tight to a saddened Laguna. "I wondered what happened during their last battle. When they left, Squall couldn't stand Laguna, then they returned with Squall wrapped around him. Squall won't talk to anyone, not even to Aerith. What's going to happen to us?"

A tentacle gently turned Terra's attention back to Cloud of Darkness. "If what the Lion plots comes to pass, nothing ill shall befall either of us. The rabble of orphans awaiting us will not have to wait much longer."

"Oh, I feel better. Squall likes to be alone, but he always comes through when it matters." Terra completely relaxed her body against Cloud of Darkness's.

Cloud of Darkness tilted her head, when she spied Laguna begin to softly speak to Squall and pet his boy's hair. "Unknown to the Lion and the father, they are hunted by the strongest of warriors from both Cosmos and Chaos's sides to be life-bonded. Although we are enemies, Laguna treated us well. We are… happy for his future. He and his shall be taken care of well."

XXX

"What's goin' on, Spiky? I can't see a thing." Cloud huddled further into the niche he had squeezed himself into when Zack's babbling caught Laguna's attention. He answered the older man's wave with a small wave of his own. "You can't see a thing because you're not here. You're actually in Rocket Town, living off Cid and Vincent like a bum. Nobody else's Assists can talk through their Jewels. How come you and Aerith can?"

"'Cause Aerith's special and I'm The Zack. The Zack can do anything!"

Cloud hastily slapped his palm over his back pocket. "Will you shut up! How am I supposed to spy on your Teenage Dream, if you won't be quiet?"

"He just turned eighteen. Completely legal for the Military, Playing the Lottery, and Marriage."

Cloud hid his blushing face in his arms. His drawn up knees making him smaller. "You're already married. Remember him? Seven-feet-tall, black wing, kills me once a cycle even when we're on the same side?"

"Who do you think pointed the Baby Lion out to me first? He was such a snooty-booty to Seph. Made me wanna lick him. Anywhoo, ya don't have to worry about Marriage. It's legal if we all get hitched in Wutai. Yuffie's Dad said he'd officiate and everything."

The conversation came to a halt when Cloud spied a pair of khaki slacks and sandaled feet walk up to him out of the corner of his eye. A pair of heavy black boots sulkily following along.

"Hello, Cloud. Would you mind if we sat beside you? The view is better here and I think Squall wants to see Shiva again. She protected my boy really well on our World."

Struck dumb from the pure light shining from Laguna's smile, all Cloud could do was nod.

"Sure thing, Mr. Loire. Spiky just loves company of the older persuasion."

Laguna chuckled, watching Cloud slap his butt with a deep frown. "Seems your ass does your talking for you."

Cloud glanced with concern to a silent Gunblader. "Wish Squall would do a little talking too. Aerith's really worried."

Laguna sighed and palmed his boy's head. Squall's face hidden against his neck. "Oh, he can talk a little. Hey Squall, why don't you go stand by Cecil and Golbez. Shiva will see you better there."

"No!"

"Hey Squall, you still haven't eaten anything. It's been almost two days. Yuna made you a special sandwich before she left. Why don't you have a bite?"

"Not hungry!"

Laguna's face crumpled with sorrow.

Cloud's heart broke at the sight.

"Squall… you know it's the right thing to do. You'll have Ellone when you return home. My two babies together, safe and sound. It's all I ever wanted. If one of us gets to survive, it has to be you. You have to let me go."

Squall tightened his hold so much, Laguna could barely breathe. "Bull! I need time! Give me time and I can fix this. I've always been able to fix it…"

Hearing the stoic boy start to cry out of pure frustration, Cloud quickly scooted over to embrace Laguna's other side. He didn't care anymore of what the others thought.

Laguna gazed at Cloud with intense curiosity. "Something you want to tell me, Bright Eyes?"

Cloud began to stutter when a soft murmur came from his back pocket. "Cloud, is my Baby Lion crying?"

Cloud glanced over to make sure Squall didn't hear. "Yeah, he's really torn up about whatever Ultimecia showed him. Neither he nor Laguna is telling what it is."

"Ultimecia, huh. Well, that's one name going down, but it ain't all of them. My Seph is getting bored, Vincent's crying every night for his thirty-year-old baby, and I wanna get hitched again. I say we wrap this up."

Cloud tightened his hold around Laguna and Squall. "I'm with you. I've got plans myself."

Laguna's attention wavered back to Cloud. His green eyes widened with trepidation when Cloud's eyes seemed to triple their glow. "Whoa. I'll never need a nightlight with you. Will I?'

Cloud leaned in to brush a kiss against a surprised Laguna's temple. "No, I'll make sure you'll be safe, night or day. SOLDIER's honor."

XXX

Tidus, seething with the need for revenge against Jecht, though he wasn't sure why, ran through the canyon. He came to a sudden halt when he was confronted by a trio wearing various forms of dancing apparel. "What the hell-. Get outta my way! There's only one person I want to fight and it's none of you!"

Bartz failed to utter a word, instead he raised his arms and began to sway his lower body in place. His dancer's "attack" meaning to confuse the enemy.

As if on cue, Zidane flew into action, speedily twisting and turning around Tidus's frozen body, just in case the puzzled blitzballer decided to attack.

Yuna, brimming with confidence, raised her microphone and filled the echoing canyon with a sweet song of home, family, and everlasting love. The Songstress sphere connected to her belt activated, spilling off waves of ascending lights and musical notes. Her aeons, in response, floated through the air, dancing to their beloved mistress's melody.

XXX

The bedazzled crowd, located above the canyon, stood and sat amazed at the combined concert and light show taking place below.

The newly arrived group of Firion, Lightning, Tifa, and Onion Knight slowly found places to settle.

Tifa cuddled up against Cloud's back, so Aerith, through her Assist Jewel could join in any conversation. "It took forever to find Kain. Should've known he went to the Dragon Caves. Of course, it's the last place we look."

Cloud relaxed further, feeling Tifa's hug of support. "We're coming home, Aerith. It won't be much longer. Promise, Sis."

Aerith's soft laugh tinkled through the air. "I have no doubt. It's all Zack can talk about. Speaking of talking, I still haven't heard anything from my favorite new little brother, Squall. Helloooo, is anybody home?"

At the feel of a cold hand brushing his head, Squall raised his face to gaze at Shiva shining above. His rare soft smile was secretly caught on Tifa's camera phone, so it couldn't be refuted later. "I'll be all right, Shiva. I have my family and friends around me. With them at my side, nothing's impossible."

As a contented Shiva sailed away, Squall fainted in exhaustion. His grateful father quick to catch him.

XXX

In the canyon below, Tidus collapsed under the weight of his returning memories and a laughing Zidane holding on with arms, legs, and naughty tail.

Yuna quickly joined them, showering Tidus with kisses. "It worked! I knew it would! I just knew it!"

Zidane raised his head from Tidus's shoulder and looked around. "What happened to Bartz? He should have the chance to celebrate too."

Yuna giggled and pointed to the far distant form of a lusty Dragoon carrying an extremely embarrassed Mimic away. "I believe he has some explaining to do."

Zidane laid his head back down with a sigh. "Hope he doesn't get in trouble for helping us."

Tidus tilted Zidane's head up, while Yuna took advantage of his shirtless form. "My memories may be slow in returning, but I don't think I know you."

Zidane answered with a kiss deep enough to make the Blitzballer's toes curl. "Name's Zidane, slayer of dragons, rescuer of princesses, and now the rescuer of the Star Player of the Zanarkand Abes."

Tidus glanced over to his gleeful girlfriend. "Say Summoner Yuna, are you okay with this?"

Yuna leaned over to nuzzle Zidane, leaving Tidus hard and breathless at the sight. "Isn't he yummy? He comes complete, triple-jointed, with a tail. I think we're going to be a hit in the Player's Wives section."

Tidus looked up to the sounds of catcalls and whistles. He gave a thumbs-up to his visibly relieved old man being held up by a violet-tinged Zidane look-alike. "I seriously need to catch up on things."

XXX

Bartz gasped against a barren cliff. His fingers failing to find purchase along an armored back. "You were supposed to be gone for two more days."

The declaration did nothing to halt the Dragoon's frenzied thrusting against Bartz's defenseless barely covered crotch. "You wait until I leave to bewitch others to your side. The way you danced and swayed. I would believe you had done this before outside of battle.""

Bartz hid his shamed face against Kain's shoulder. "An orphan has to eat. What else could I do? It was just me and Boko for a long time. I could've starved, but I couldn't do that to Boko. Besides it wasn't much. All I ever did was dance. I swear."

Kain halted his rutting to raise Bartz's head and gaze into sorrowful eyes. "Think back on those memories no longer, little one, for I promise such hard times shall never be experienced by you again."

Bartz leaned in for a soft kiss. "I know. You always keep your promises. I don't care what you say. You're worth it. You'll always be worth it."

Kain resumed his caresses. His heated breath puffing smoke through the cold air. "Keep saying such words to me, perhaps one day I can truly believe them"

Bartz clutched Kain closer. His body thrumming with ecstasy. "Alright. Good thing for you, I keep my promises too."


End file.
